Words I live by

This phrase had been up on my Vision board for the last few weeks, and it really has pushed me to, DO MORE! .   " Doing more than you think you can,"  can mean an infinite amount of things. It can mean to workout longer and harder than you ever have before, it can mean to read those books that have been on my shelf forever instead of drone out watching tv, it means to talk to a homeless person on the street and take them to lunch, it means to smile, smile, smile:)in public even though you just got finished shedding some tears in the car alone,  to finish the the long list of things to do and make another one, to get up early and make yourself an amazing smoothie or juice for the day, to smell those flowers you walk by on the way to work everyday, to volunteer on your only day off, to practice being in the present......We are all amazing human beings with so much potential,  We can all aim for the stars and make it!   Our bodies and spirits are designed to be pushed to their limits!!  That is how we grow as individuals and as a whole. I . Have a little over three months until my surgery and I am planning on being in the best shape of my life by that time!  Yes I did just turn 30, and so "they" say that our bodies go down hill from there.  BUt you know what I say to that!!!...I am only getting more and more healthier by the second and in better shape than ever before!  People still think I am in my early 20's (thanks to my Japanese side)  But if you feed your cells yummy whole foods and the right vitamins/ supplements then the whole of you is going to stay young forever!

Please join me by DOING MORE than you ever thought you could and take care of your beautiful *mind* bodies and souls!!!

Bye Bye Breast MRI's and Mammograms!

        "Why are you scheduling a mammography of the breast you are way to young!?"  the nurse on the other end of the phone asked.
       UGH!.... for the hundredth time I had to explain to the nurse that, "I have the BRCA1 gene mutation, and  I need to be screened every 6 months for breast cancer or any lumps."  I felt bad for the person on the phone because I was so annoyed, but I felt worse for me.  I was the one having to get a mammogram at such a young age.  I was the one who had this gene mutation.
       At age 23, after I found out about having the BRCA1 gene mutation I started getting mammograms and pelvic ultrasounds every six months.  Talk about being violated!!!  ( I will talk about the pelvic ultrasounds in another blog, Yay!)  After my first mammogram I thought my perky, dense breasts were going stay flat like the cartoon on the right!! No joke!  Your breast get squished, pushed, shoved, and pulled in all directions.  Like the picture below you have to stay there with your breast squished to a flat plastic board that is below and above it while the nurse goes into another room and presses some buttons.  It hurts! No Bueno!  Thank the Lord my boobs never stayed flat!
      My sister Rachael is amazing with keeping up on all the latest research about the gene mutation, and the exams/screenings I have to have and she found out that mammograms aren't  the best way to detect breast cancer.  Mammograms can in some way cause it because of the radiation from the x ray machine.
       After we found this out, 2 years ago I got my first breast MRI.   Double UGH!  The upside to the MRI over the mammogram is that there was no squishing, and shoving of my breast!  The down side was that I  needed to have an IV put into my arm before I got placed inside a tunnel where I could not move at all.  The other downside, is that I  had to lay there for forty five minutes while some contrast/ink  was being injected into my arm, and the tunnel machine makes the loudest clicking/robots noises I ever heard.  The picture below and to the right explains it a bit.   NO bueno!
       I should have read up on what to expect during a Breast MRI before I had gone in to get one  because it was one of the most horrible exams I had ever had done.   I didn't know that I had to have an IV put in my arm along with some weird contrast being squirted into my veins.  That was the part that was so horrible.  Thankfully my sister Rachael has been able to sit in the room with me every time I have had a breast MRI.   Her presence in the room helped calm me even though we couldn't talk to each other.  Thank you sister!  
       My surgery is in a little over 3 months, and I do not believe, thus far, that I need to be breast screened anymore!!!!  At least the doctors haven't said I needed to be.  Thank God for that!  For the last 7 years I have had about 14 breast screenings and thankfully they have all been clear.  But waiting for the results every time isn't easy, it's nerve racking, and it puts your life on a little bit of a hold.  This is one of the many reasons why I am choosing to have this surgery.  I don't want my life to be put on hold anymore.  I am taking charge of it and I am choosing to lift a huge weight off my shoulders (and chest literally, he he)  once my breast are removed.
 Bye Bye Breast MRI's and Mammograms!!

I am so blessed!

Rachael, me, Corrin, my mother Julie, Joanna, and Dr. King being reunited at the Jewish Film Festival
I am very humbled and proud to be standing by five of the most influential women in my life  and the world!

My mother quilted an awareness blanket
to be auctioned off at the festival.

My mother and Dr. King

I am so blessed to have these five amazing women as family and  mentors in my life.
A few years ago the documentary, In the Family, that I mentioned in my last blog, was being debuted at the Jewish Film Festival in Seattle,Washington.  My family and I were able to be reunited with Joanna Rudnick (the creator and star of the documentary), and Dr. Mary Claire King (whom discovered the gene mutation/ was filmed with my family as we got our test results).    If it weren't for Dr. King, then the world would not know about the BRCA gene mutation,  and if it weren't for Joanna, my family and I would not have been a part of spreading the awareness of the BRCA gene mutation.
       This was the first time that I had viewed the documentary in it's entirety after it was released, and I cried the whole movie.  (It's available on Netflix to watch please do) I held my breath when the part of my family was being shown, and looked around the audience to see the reactions.  Tears where all around us, and to this day when someone mentions seeing the film they always say that the part of the Hanke girls getting their test results back was and is the, "most touching and heartbreaking."
       It's so weird to know that the "dooms day" moment in my life was filmed, and I can watch over and over at anytime ( yet I never do).  Even when I put it on the blog it started playing and I couldn't watch it.   It's very special in a way,  but I will never be able to watch it again.   When I viewed it for the first and only time I critiqued myself and the way I reacted.  I didn't want or plan to crying.  I thought that I needed to stay strong for my family, but my tears just poured out.  Now that I think back tears would have poured out no matter even if the results were negative for all of three of us.   I would have cried out of relief of having an answer.  We took the test a week or two prior to getting the results.  So, not knowing was super stressful on it's own.   Plus, at that point in my life when I was 23 I didn't care to know.  It wasn't a good feeling.  I was being forced to take a test that could change my life forever.  I didn't want it to be real.  Out of sight out of mind, right?
         I think when any human being is put through a period of waiting for any result, whether good or bad, and it finally happens, the emotional relief that you go through just comes out.  In our case, we thank God that not all three of us have the BRCA1 deletion though, it's very hard because Rachael being the oldest feels guilt for not  having it.  Which she absolutely should not, but I know that I would feel the exact same.   We are all in this together no matter what!  My family is one of the strongest families that I know, and we always persevere through our hard times...  Everything happens for a reason and NOW I am so thankful that I was able to be a part of the documentary and I have two of the most influential/inspirational women in the Science/Film world be a part of my life.   I am thankful that my sisters and I got the results together that's how God wanted it to be.

This was a very special time, and I want all of these beautiful women to know that I am very appreciative and thankful for them being a part of my life.

Us again with Dr. King, Joanna, Joanna's
husband, and my amazing father

Joanna Rudnick in the news for BRCA

Dr. Mary Claire King

Understanding the Gene Mutation that I have

Watch Video | Gene Mutation Animation (Clip 1 of 3): Classroom Clips | POV | PBS

I called it "Dooms Day!"

Watch Video | Hanke Family Test Results (Clip 3 of 3): Classroom Clips | POV | PBS  

The documentary my family and I were in

Rachael(oldest sister), Julie(my mom), Corrin (older sister), and me

"Girls... the reason your mother got breast cancer twice is because she has a breast and ovarian cancer gene mutation called BRCA1,"  my father said sadly.
"What, what the heck is that?!"  I didn't even know things like gene mutations really existed.   I was 23 (obviously naive) and my mother had already gotten her double mastectomy after her second occurrence of breast cancer. So we knew she was in the clear and we celebrated!!!   But once my mother and father realized that this gene mutation could be passed down to any of their 3 daughters their hearts sank.   
I had just very recently broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years whom I traveled the world with.   My parents were telling me that I should get tested for this gene mutation, and I didn't want to do it.  I was disoriented, my heart was broken,  I was so hurt from the break up... I was being self centered.  I didn't care to know at such a young age.  My mother hadn't gotten breast cancer until her 40's and the research at that time showed that I didn't have to start getting screened until another couple of years.  
Around this time my mother had contacted a lady, Joanna Rudnick, who happened to be filming a documentary called In the Family.  This insightful film is about Joanna's journey with having the gene mutation and others like her.  Joanna wanted our family in the film but we didn't know how.  The  video above shows the clip where my family is in the documentary.  My sisters and I had been tested for the gene mutation, but had not gotten our results.   The clip is of us getting our results for the first time.  This is the Hanke family IN THE RAW.
The lady we are sitting across from is the amazing Dr.  Mary Claire King who discovered the BRCA1 and BRCA2 breast and ovarian cancer gene mutations.   As you can see Corrin and I have the BRCA1 mutation...  that is why I called it DOOMS DAY! 
My life had changed forever on that day.  It's like it was yesterday.  The weird thing is I wasn't so shocked when she said that I had the gene mutation.  I wish that it was only me if any of us were going to have it.  I've always been okay with doctors visits and hospitals.  Corrin and Rach on the other hand...not so good.  sorry sisters...

  

I've always had a nice "RACK"...

yes those are real............

Throughout the years I have been asked many times if my boobs were "fake."   Or many people have just assumed that they were fake  because I am a 5 ft tall semi asian with a tiny frame and 32 dd's.   My nick name from my best guy friend in high school was Stacky Lynn.  Meaning I am stacked in the front... get it ..ha ha.   I don't know where these big balloons came from.  My two older sisters have decent size breasts, but not double d's like me.  My boobs were so big at one point when I was 24 that I was considering having a breast reduction.  I once weighed my breast with my boyfriend at the time on an at home scale and they weighed 5 pounds each!!!  That's a lot to carry in front of you!!  TOP HEAVY isn't a joke!

       Yes, I am bragging about my voluptuous breasts!!  I am very blessed to have what most women pay for, and what other women dream about having if they can't pay for them.    Yes, I am bragging about my beautiful breasts!!

(and they are beautiful....not mis shaped no banana style, weird color nipple thing going on)  I look good in every shirt that I wear because of them, and have gotten out of my fair share of driving tickets because of them as well J/K!  he he... 

       YES, I am bragging about my breasts because in November of this year 2013 I won't have them anymore.  I am getting a breast reduction, but not the type of reduction that I thought about before.  I am getting a double breast mastectomy.   Both of these balloons of glory are going to be chopped off completely.
       Deletion 185AG is a deletion of the amino acids Adenine and Guanine from my DNA at section 185.   It is a Breast and Ovarian Cancer gene mutation I have inherited from my Ashkenazi Jewish side of decent.  Deletion 185 is the reason I am getting a double mastectomy this year, and in 5 years getting my ovaries removed.  Deletion 185 is a blessing in disguise because now I don't have to go through what my beautiful mother did by surviving two different breast cancer scenarios.  I can prevent it and I am.